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All you need is (tough) love

Thanks to the Beatles
This blog draws on the steer that the Beatles gave in their 1967 hit All You Need is Love. For our purposes today I have prefixed love with the word tough.

What’s the tough part?
The recurring theme of success in many walks of life seems to me to be self-discipline.
This self-discipline is the personal grit that aligns our own behaviour to our value sets, especially when the going gets really tough.

It is likely that without self-discipline we will not set clear and stretching goals, manage our time to the key tasks (that afford success the best possible chance of happening), treat people equitably, persist through the hard times and care for our own physical and mental health.
Some popular psychologists have coined this ‘tough love’. This tough love with ourselves is actually an act of radical kindness.

Shaped by our choices
The qualities of our lives are ultimately shaped by the choices we make. Often we have the propensity to make the quick easy decision rather than the hard, difficult but right one.

Being effective in our life roles doesn’t mean spending time doing what is convenient and comfortable. On the contrary it means hitting our ‘emotional pause’ button using our emotional intelligence and self awareness to do what’s right.

It’s about the right habits
“ The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do” wrote essayist E.M.Gray. “They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinate to their strength of purpose”. Thomas Henry Huxley made a similar observation: “Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not”

Tough love for sales
For those of us in sales this tough love challenges us in doing the hard parts of
the job:

  • Spending enough time effectively prospecting
  • Having the breadth and depth of conversations with our customers
  • Qualifying prospects early in the sales cycle
  • Persistent follow through with prospects when they have the temerity to ignore our calls and e-mails!
  • Bouncing back from setbacks and not getting draw in to displacement activities

All that is required is that we give ourselves the tough love needed for success to naturally follow.

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